"Please, clouds, don't rain!" Not going to work, is it?
And neither will trying to reassure someone who just can't be reassured. They will go on fretting, no matter how you plead.
Chronic insecurity in your relationship is a major problem. Why? Because relationships really, deeply matter. Your health, your wellbeing, your happiness are affected by your relationships more than any other factor. And your most intimate relationships have the biggest effect of all.
It's not just the insecure person who suffers
Feeling insecure in a relationship is horrible for the one who is feeling the insecurity. The burden - of fear and obsessive thoughts, of feeling powerless, of awful awareness that all this insecurity may actually itself be destroying what you treasure most - can feel pretty unbearable.
But it's also tough for the person on the receiving end of all that insecurity. The truth is that being involved with a really insecure person can be hell.
This article highlighted what a common problem insecurity is
I wrote an article a while back on overcoming insecurity in relationships and was inundated with feedback from all over the world. The scores of comments on the article itself were just the tip of the iceberg. My inbox overflowed with hundreds more private emails from people wracked by feelings of relationship insecurity.
That article, which explores the reasons for insecurity and offers practical tips to help overcome it, eventually became the springboard for the development of the new 10 steps to overcoming insecurity in relationships course. My article was mainly addressed to those who are themselves feeling insecure in a relationship; but I also got - and still get - hundreds of emails from people who have extremely insecure partners. A common recurring theme of these accounts is how isolating it can feel to find yourself in a relationship with someone who is deeply insecure. And this is one major reason why extreme insecurity can be so damaging.
A relatively new designer drug known as flakka (alpha-PVP) or gravel has steathfully made its way into the United States. Several incidents have occured in Florida, and recently an FSU student stabbed a couple, injured a neighbor who tried to intervene, and when the police arrived, he was found gnawing on the face of one of the victims. He was making animal noises, and even a stun gun was ineffective against him. It took four officers to finally pull him off the man.
Flakka is a man-made synthetic cathinone drug that looks like bath crystals, and it is mostly imported from China. It can be ingested by being snorted, eaten, injected or vaping which is the most dangerous as it goes straight into the bloodstream and can produce an immediate overdose of the drug. The worst part is that it’s highly addictive, it can be bought on the streets or online, it simulates the effects of cocaine and methamphetamine magnified 10 times, and only costs about $5. It's not only the price, but the effects of the drugs that can last for several days which entices new users to fall into a drug habit that can be very difficult to overcome.
The flip side of this cheap euphoria is extremely dangerous. It can raise your body temperature to 104 degrees and elevate your blood pressures, all of which can cause several body organs to fail or produce a heart attack, stroke or other life threatening health event.
As with other drugs the user wants to recreate the initial rush, and in order not to crash, it drives the person to increase their intake. This is when the dangerous downside of this drug will begin to manifest. According to the American College of Emergency Physicians, the user can experience Excited Delirium (ExDS) which is characterized by delusional behavior, high pain tolerance, sweating, panting, agitation, lack of tiring, unusual strength, feeling extreme body heat which precipitates shedding clothing, and in some instance attraction to mirrors or glass.
All of this translates into paranoia, a racing heart, panic attacks, depression, suicidal ideations and decreased sex drive all of which culminates in a violent and psychotic individual.
Presently the DEA classifies this as a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance, and 20 other countries including China have banned over 100 synthetic drugs among them flakka. It is illegal to produce, transport or ingest this type of drug.
The behavior exhibited by persons who have taken this drug is described as "zombie-like" or "possessed by demons". This might be a little over the top, but after seeing the video below, it's very easy to see why it's described this way.
Again the headlines detail the tragedy of the death of children at the hand of their parent. This last one takes place in Texas where a mother, Sheborah Thomas, is reported as allegedly murdering her 5 and 7 year old children, and then stowing their bodies under a neighbor's house as she was in the process of moving away from her home. When asked by a neighbor about the children, she calmly admitted she had drowned them. The children's father is incarcerated.
Several neighbors and acquaintances have stated that they had never seen any signs of mental illness or mistreatment of the children; however I wonder how accurate and truthful these statements are. I am sure that when an investigation is made of the family there will be many tale tell signs that this mom suffered from some type of mental illness, but more than likely those around her who saw her functioning and apparently taking care of her children, chose to look away and ignore, unfortunately for those children, what they recognized as unstable behavior. Fear of being held responsible either for “turning in” the mom, or worse the care of the children if she was found unfit to care for them, allowed this murder to take place.
The headlines today tell of a tragedy that unfortunately is being seen once too many times, where twin 16 month old toddler girls passed away after being left in a hot car by their father
I speak from personal experience as a mother of 3 children who were born in a 5 year span, that I understand the temptation to try to do something without bringing your children along, but hot on the heels of that thought is the vision of all the things that could go wrong. I think the closest I came to it was at a gas station, in which I raced from my vehicle to the cashier inside (this was the 1980s), keeping in line of sight my three, sleeping children. I think I practically threw a $20 dollar bill at the attendant and shouted out the pump number as I ran out the door back to my vehicle.
This is why I can’t understand how events like these occur, in which you forget that your children who are dependent on you, are strapped into a seat and left to slowly suffocate in a vehicle. The only explanation I can think of is to blame it on the subconscious, in which in my experience is so much more powerful than what most people think. In some persons, the subconscious desire, especially if it’s strong enough overcomes fear of consequences, or the moral or ethical dilemmas involved in getting a certain result. It’s so powerful that it overcomes bonding and love for your offspring.
Expert in traditional and alternative areas of hypnosis, subconscious behaviorist