An Honest Obituary

By M.P. Pellicer | Stranger Than Fiction Stories
Many people like to think that as people head towards death, especially if they can foresee it, either through illness or age, they try to make amends or at least heal the wounds of those they hurt. But that is not always the case.

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Larry Pfaff Jr., the author of obituary (Source - Corey Perry/Fla Times Union)

Old age is no guarantee of repentance or of regret, and it's a harsh reality for those who have been emotionally run over by an individual, waiting for the moment where they are offered an apology, or at least an understanding of the hurt they have caused. Even if their plea for forgiveness is not accepted, they make an attempt. But in truth there are people who have no remorse, and they are as unrepentant in old age as they were in their youth.

​Such is the story of Larry Pfaff Jr., a Jacksonville resident whose father recently passed away at the age of 81. The obituary he wrote for Pfaff Sr., resonated with many who understand that healing from abuse (emotional and/or physical) only starts by calling out an abuser who should have protected you from the moment of your birth.

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Larry Pfaff's picture of his parents on their wedding day

Then the newspaper tried to backtrack on July 5, 2022 by printing the following: "We regrettably published an obituary that did not adhere to our guidelines and we are looking into the matter further. We regret any distress this may have caused."

It seems that writing the brutally honest obituary provided Larry Plaff Jr. with something his father never did; a catharsis.

This is the content the publishers apologized for, even though it appears to be well-deserved:

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Lawrence H. Pfaff Sr. was born in Belmont, NY, on April 16, 1941. He passed away on June 27, 2022, living a long life, much longer than he deserved. He is survived by his three children, no four. Oops, five children. Well as of 2022 we believe there is one more that we know about, but there could be more. His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited. From a young age, he was a ladies' man and an abusive alcoholic, solidifying his commitment to both with the path of destruction he left behind, damaging his adult children, and leaving them broken.

Lawrence, Sr.'s hobbies included abusing his first wife and children. He loved to start projects but never followed through on any of them. He enjoyed the life of a bar fly for many years and had a quaint little living space, studio, above his favorite hole in the wall, the club Nashville.

Lawrence, Sr. did spend over 20 years in the NYPD, but even his time in service was negligent at best. Because of his alcohol addiction, his Commanding Officer took away his gun and badge, replacing them with a broom until he could get his act together.

Lawrence, Sr. did claim to be clean and sober for over thirty years, but never worked any of the twelve steps, including the eighth and ninth steps with his children, making amends. He possesses no redeeming qualities for his children, including the ones he knew, and the 'ones he knew about.'

It will be challenging to miss Lawrence, Sr. because he was narcissistic. He was incapable of love. Lawrence, Sr.'s passing proves that evil does eventually die, and it marks a time of healing, which will allow his children to get the closure they deserve. Lawrence, Sr. can be remembered for being a father to many, and a dad to none.

Kathleen Dehmlow's children penned a "revenge obituary" which laid bare her act of abandonment

Larry Pfaff, Jr. is not the only one who announces to the world through an obituary that their parents were horrible persons. In, 2018,  Jay Dehmlow said he and his sister Gina wrote the following about their mother Kathleen Dehmlow: “She passed away on May 31, 2018, in Springfield and will now face judgment. She will not be missed by [her children] Gina and Jay, and they understand that this world is a better place without her.”

Their mother abandoned them 1962, when she became pregnant by her brother-in-law and moved to California. His maternal grandparents, Joseph and Gertrude Schunk brought them up. They didn't find out about their two half-brothers until years later. She visited them twice through the years, but wouldn't even acknowledge their existence, and showed pictures to family members of herself with her other children.

Kathleen married her first husband Dennis Dehmlow (Dehmalo) (1936-2016), and then Lyle Dehmlow (1937-2008) in 1973.

In an act of censorship the "revenge obituary was taken down from the Redwood Falls Gazette (Minnesota) and Legacy.com".

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Stephen Michael Paris c.1981 and 2018

The outcome of an obituary can also lead to unexpected results. In 2018, a man who had been on the run for 40 years after he broke out of an Oklahoma prison, was nabbed using his mother's obituary.

Stephen Michael Paris, was found through a reference in the obit referencing her son named Stephen Chavez, which is the alias he used while living in Houston.

He had served roughly 19 months of a nine-year sentence for drug possession and distribution when he broke out. His identity was confirmed through fingerprints.

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Val Patterson (1953-2012)

Obits are sometimes used as vehicles of confession. In 2012, Val Patterson, a Utah scientists penned his own obituary where he admitted that he didn't graduate from college, and was not a recipient of a Ph.D. The diploma had been mailed to him by error.

The University of Utah said they only had records of where he attended only two semesters in 1971-1972.

Patterson was a chemist who owned Salt Lake Metals.

He also confessed to stealing a safe from the Motor View Drive Inn in 1971.

For some reason he had been "banned for life" from Disneyland and San Diego's SeaWorld, and he mentioned they could throw the ban away.

He had also rolled rocks into Old Faithful, which interfered with the geyser.

He died at age 59 from throat cancer.

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